2009年2月18日星期三

燙傷處理新法 !

★ 未破皮處之燙傷處理 (熱水、熱湯、熱油、摩托車煙管、蒸氣燙傷) ---燒傷如果沒有馬上降溫與止痛,未來的辛路歷程是可想而知。當燙傷時第一時間不是很痛,是因為身體有百分之 0.9 的鹽繼續吸皮膚發炎的熱而變成越來越灼熱痛,我們用鹽把熱吸過去就不痛了,因為鹽有吸熱和滲透的特性,民俗廟會過火撒鹽就是這個原理。我向一位年長的婦女說燙傷須馬上泡冰鹽水:有一次她跌倒整隻手掌插入熱油鍋裡,她整隻手掌藏入鹽堆裡,結果手心手背都好了,指縫起水泡是因為沒有把手指頭張開,還高興的向我說謝謝。像一般家庭小燙傷:沖水後用很厚的鹽再用濕的面紙敷蓋,偶爾加水!!只要離開鹽不痛約三小時就好了,不需敷藥也沒有留下疤痕。(註:皮膚未破皮用大量的鹽沒有關係)

What is marketing

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: ' I am very rich. Marry me! ' - That's Direct Marketing'


2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: ' He's very rich. 'Marry him.' -That's Advertising'


3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: ' Hi, I'm very rich. 'Marry me - That's Telemarketing'

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:'By the way, I'm rich. Will you 'Marry Me?' - That's Public Relations'


5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:'You are very rich! 'Can you marry ! Me?' - That's Brand Recognition'


6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - ' That's Customer Feedback '


7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' And she introduces you to her husband. - 'That's demand and supply gap'


8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him - 'That's competition eating into your market share'


9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marry me!' your wife arrives. - ' That's restriction for entering new markets '

heheheheheheh

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bombexplodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.


Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.



At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?


Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...


Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

dont laugh

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'?
Whole body was born in India .

2009年2月17日星期二

how the girl protect herself

昨晚我參加一個的安全防範的研習會,讓我很驚嘆!這場研習會是由一個叫 Pat Malone 的人主持,他是知名人士的保鑣,也為FBI 工作,並教授警察及海軍的SEALS 徒手格鬥。 以下建議非常實用,多看幾次,受用無窮! 1. 警方的 提醒 : 手肘是身體最有力的部位。 距離夠近,就善用手肘! 2. 假如歹徒向你要皮夾或錢包, 不要遞給他 ,而是 將皮夾或錢包往遠處丟去。歹徒很可能對財物比對你有興趣,他會去拿皮夾或錢包,這是你逃跑的機會。 往反方向拼命跑!! 3. 假如你被丟進車子的後車廂:把車後燈踢破, 將你的手從洞中伸出去,用力揮手,駕駛人看不到你,但是其他人看得到。這個方法救過無數人命。 4. 女性常常在購物、吃飯及下班後進入車子,然後就坐在駕駛座上處理事情(如記帳、列清單等)。 千萬不要這麼做! 歹徒會藉機觀察情勢,闖入車內,拿槍威脅,控制你的行動。 進入車內,立即鎖門,駛離現場。 5.在平面停車場及立體停車場的幾個注意事項 : A. 要警覺 : 環顧四周;察看車內的乘客座和後座。(接近車子時,留意車底。) B. 假如你的車子停在箱型車旁,則應該從乘客車門進入你的車子。 許多連續殺人犯都是趁著女性要進入車中時,將她們拖進箱型車中加害。 C. 觀察停放在你左右兩邊的車子。如果有男性單獨坐在最近的鄰車內,最好回到購物中心或辦公室,找保全人員或警察陪你回去。 寧願防患未然,也不要終生遺憾。 (大驚小怪總比喪命好 ) 6. 永遠 搭電梯,不要走樓梯。 (樓梯間是一個可怕的地方,容易讓人形單影隻,變成最好的犯罪場所) 7. 假如歹徒有槍而你並沒有受到他的控制, 一定要跑! 一百次中,只有四次歹徒會襲擊逃跑的目標; 即使他攻擊你,大多不會是致命的部位, 要跑! 8. 身為女性,我們總是發揮同情心: 不要再這樣! 這樣會增加被強暴或是殺害的機會。 一個叫泰得 ‧ 邦迪( Ted Bundy) 的連續殺人犯就是一個相貌堂堂並且受過良 好教育的人, 總是 利用女性的同情心。 他走路時帶著一根手杖或是跛行,經常要求別人「幫忙」他進入車內或是看一下他的車子,趁機綁架受害者。 最近有人告訴我,他的朋友在晚上聽到門口有嬰兒在哭,不過當時已經很晚了,而且她認為這件事很奇怪,於是她打電話給警察。 警察告訴她: 「無論如何,絕對不要開門。」 這位女士表示那聲音聽起來像是嬰兒爬到窗戶附近哭,她擔心嬰兒會爬到街上,被車子碾過。警察告訴她:我們已經派人前往,無論如何 不能開門 警方認為這是一個連續殺人犯,利用嬰兒哭聲的錄音帶,誘使女性以為有人在外面遺棄嬰兒,騙她們出門察看。雖然尚未證實此事, 但是警方已經接到許多女性打電話來說,他們晚上獨自在家時,聽到門外有嬰兒的哭聲請將這個消息傳給其他人,不要因為聽到嬰兒的哭聲而開門。 請嚴肅看待這封電子郵件 因為上禮拜六「美國頭號通緝犯」( America's Most Wanted)節目中, 報導路易斯安那州的連續殺人犯時 , 提到了「哭泣嬰兒」的假設。 請轉寄這封信給你所有認識的女性朋友, 並一個接一個傳下去 。

2009年2月12日星期四

boring story

她比他小20岁,嫁给他的时候,家乡的人都以为她傍上大款。只有她知道,他到底是 一个什么样的男人。    他只是一个普通的男人,黑,丑,一口黄牙。媒人当初可没这么说,只说是个过 日子的男人,就因为家里穷给耽搁了,一直没找上媳妇。那阵子,没找上媳妇的都去 山区找,有四川的、山西的、湖南的……花几千元就可以找来。那男人也托人带一个回 来,这就是她,一个死了丈夫的女人。    媒人说男人富着呢,靠手艺吃饭。女人因为急于逃离那个家庭,问都没问男人会 什么手艺就嫁过来了。过来后才知道,他的手艺就是在外面风吹雨淋地修鞋,再加上 男人长得丑陋,让她有种上当的感觉。回去,已无退路,婆家人叫她丧门星,说是她 克死了丈夫。    再婚后,男人很宠她,隔三岔五给她买些小玩意来,一盒粉饼,一支口红,几串 荔枝……她长到30岁,从来没有用过口红,更不用说吃荔枝了,很 快,她就觉得自己比 杨贵妃还要幸福,吃荔枝的时候,男人不吃,只是傻傻地看着她吃。她说∶'你也 吃。'他说∶'我不爱吃它,看着你吃我就高兴。'后来,她偶然上街,随口问了一下 荔枝的价格,吓一跳,竟然要20元1斤。她的眼睛一下湿润了,他怎么可能不爱吃荔 枝?他是舍不得吃呀。    她更加疼他,早晨早早起来给他做饭,晚上做好热乎乎的饭菜等他回来;冬天的 时候,男人在街上修鞋,一天下来,冻得全身冰冷,女人就把男人的脚放到自己怀里 暖着。男人也很知足,说是上辈子修来的福才会娶到她,他为什么50 岁还没有结婚, 就为等她呗。说得女人心花怒放。    女人见男人每天那么累很心疼,她说∶'给我买台机器吧,我和你一块修鞋去。' 男人不答应,说他挣的钱足够养活她,可女人认真了,偏要去。于是街上总能看到一 对老夫少妻在修鞋,两个人紧挨着,有鞋修的时候,两个人就一起动手,空闲时,就 有说有笑地聊着。冬天刮大风,女人的手都冻红了,耳朵也冻得青一块紫一块,这 时,男人买来一块烤红薯,红薯散发着诱人的香味。男人剥开,用嘴吹着,却不吃, 他把红薯放到女人嘴边,女人幸福地 咬一口,又吹一吹,让男人吃。他们一人一口地 吃着,好象享受一顿美食,好象吃着爱情的圣餐。    有一天,男人对女人说∶'总有一天,我会走在你前面。'女人就哭了,说∶'那 我和你一起去。'    男人说∶'不行!'然后男人又说∶'我们现在的钱还不是很多,再挣几年,给你养 老应该没问题。还有,我给你在地里种了500棵树,等有一天我去了,你也不能动 了,那500棵树也长大了,我相信它们能够养活你。'    女人扑到男人怀里哭了。500棵树,那只是500棵树吗?这一辈子从没有人替她这 样想过,可这个男人甚至为她想到老年,她觉得这辈子真是值了。现在城里人兴什么 夫妻树、爱情树,而她的男人给她种的树要比那些树珍贵一万倍,那是一片夫妻同心 树。

2009年2月10日星期二

did u meet the mr right ?

How men change
The Love Word:After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I loveyou, I love you!After 6 months: Of course, I loveyou.After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't loveyou, then why did I marry you?Back from Work:After 6 weeks: Honey, I'mhome!After 6 months: I'm BACK!!After 6 years: Have you cookedyet?Phone Ringing:After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wantsyou on the phone.After 6 months: Here, it's foryou.After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONEDAM*T!!Cooking:After 6 weeks: I never knew foodcould taste so good!After 6 months: What are we havingfor dinner tonight?After 6 years: DUMPLINGAGAIN??New Dress:After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like anangel in that dress.After 6 months: You bought a newdress again?After 6 years: How much did THATcost me?TV:After 6 weeks: Baby, what would youlike us to watch tonight?After 6 months: I like thismovie.After 6 years: I'm going to watchsoccer, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up bymyself!Making Love:After 6 weeks: Baby, I want youtonight?After 6 months: Lets make anotherbaby, my mother just called!!!After 6 years: Please MOVE over toyour side, I'm suffocating here!!!!